Oscar Highlights? Where?

Poor Billy Crystal, all his hosting abilities drained as he gets older. Last night’s Oscars went from meh to mediocre to “Hey that’s awesome!” to really annoying in a span of minutes. I might be slightly inclined to say that last year’s Oscars was better just because it was hosted by good looking people but that’s just me being slutty.

And yes, I’d have to agree with Vinny that those Lynn Hirschberg Screen Test-looking testimonials were really off-putting. The movies you nominated did those already. No need to ram it all on us.

Notes!

1. Pre-Oscars show: Ryan Seacrest in Kim Jong-Il

Publicity stunt courtesy of Sascha Baron-Cohen’s The Dictator. Seacrest’s disappoint/humiliation face is totally precious. What a douche. And the best part of it: Tina Fey bowing down to KJI’s ashes. Kween.

Movies kick ass!

2. Opening montage

We all love it when Billy Crystal breaks into Oscar films or anyone really. Although this got weird in the end with that film strip surfing. God, I miss the Golden Age of the MTV Movie Awards. Jack Black and Sarah Michelle-Gellar please.

3. Emma Stone

Banter! But aside from the Nicole Kidman-esque Balenciaga dress her entire giddiness was also a rip-off of Kristen Wiig’s character in an SNL Extreme Makeover skit with…Emma Stone.

4. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo wins Best Editing and the Hugo sweep

Nothing like getting our hopes up that the academy will be doing it right this time.

5. Scorsese drinking game

Or the entire time the ladies of Bridesmaids were on stage. Damn. And speaking of funny girls, Tina Fey’s bit was slightly disappointing. Remember that year when she presented with Steve Martin? Good times.

Funny moment runner up: Zach Garadjgsnakis and Will Ferrel.

6. Jean Sleeping on Meryl Streep

Nothing like a meme coming to life. You might hate Jean Dujardin for The Artist but damn, I’d tap that anytime. And hey, maybe his Funny or Die video helped his Oscar campaign. “Larry Crown? More like Larry Drown!!”

See you again next year! #NoMoreSourGraping2k12

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